It was raining and I had plans for the evening after a long time. I was just sitting by my window hoping it stopped so I could go out. But whatever that was, that rain was not going to stop me that day. It was after two months that I had decided to do something other than my daily routine. I thought it was still little early. There could have been another two months before I could actually get over my past and finally move on. But it was not going to happen until I actually try.
Just like always, when it rains, nostalgia hits and it hit that day also. Going into flashback isn’t so joyful but still this is something I did a lot. I was still thinking and remembering everything again, watching the clouds and rains and little birds in the sky trying to fly through the rain, when I heard a knock. A quick hard knock. That knock was sudden and it brought me back from my thoughts. I wasn’t expecting anybody, so who could it be. Who was there? Who had come to visit me? And why? And then, there was that knock again and it was harder this time. I got nervous and I went to open the door. But I was shocked to see that there was nobody. Was I dreaming? Convincing myself that it was just the wind, I went to my room, got dressed and left my house. Rain had stopped but still I carried my umbrella.
I waited for her outside the restaurant and after ten minutes I saw her approaching towards me. But she was not alone. There was a guy with her. She came to me and introduced him to me. It turned out they were dating. And she wanted me to meet her boyfriend. I liked them together. They seemed happy. I was with them for whole evening. It was nice to be with people for a change. Looking at them together reminded me what I had lost. But I couldn’t live all my life in that pain anymore. And I knew that. I remembered all the positive things people say to me, that life goes on, life doesn’t stop and I had to move on.
I saw how happy they were with each other and I realised that I also wanted to be happy, I also wanted to laugh like her, I wanted to smile, I wanted to live. And at that moment I decided that I was going to try to live my life with aim to enjoy it.
When that evening was over I took a taxi to my house. I sat by the same window, looking at the clear sky. I could see the moon. I looked at the clock, it was ticking. Time was going fast and I realised I was so much behind. Why couldn’t I follow the speed of time? I started staring at the clock. And then, I heard a knock. Again! And it was scary. I walked up to the door and opened it slowly with my shaking hands. It was nobody. I immediately shut the door and went to sleep. And when next time I opened my eyes it was bright morning. That knock from last day was still haunting me. I got ready as soon as I could and left the house. And along with that house I also left my painful past, my sadness, my fear, sleepless nights and depressing thoughts forever.